It's not the smashed noses and broken jaws of the '80s. But this is still ugly

Nothing about it should speak to me - but I grew up with a dad who was wild about the Rabbitohs so I also became wild about the Rabbitohs, therefore rugby league. I watch it despite the violence - and my god, I was very happy when the NRL recognised that women didn't want to watch (or take their kids to watch) because of the level of thuggery.

Still I find myself watching State of Origin religiously. Despite the violence. Despite the spike in domestic violence on game day. Despite everything. I keep hoping it will change. It has - but not enough yet.

Same thing this Wednesday. I watched. Honestly. I had no hope we could win despite the Blues' dominant performance in game two (for those who don't know, this is a series of three games where NSW plays Queensland in rugby league, the most violent sport in our country).

We were playing at Lang Park, with the most vocal, tribal, supporters in the whole world. Yes, it's true I've never been to an Origin game because the prospect terrifies me but I love being glued to the telly, with spouse, children, grandchildren, all shouting. Go the Blues!

NSW never wins State of Origin. That's at least how it feels to me. And the scoreboard agrees. Of the 45 years Origin have been played, Queensland has won 26. NSW 17. OK, yeah NSW wins but not often and especially when the final game is played at Lang Park.

So pretty much, I'm on the couch with my cup of tea and my bickies and in between the cup of tea and the bickies I am holding my breath.

I ask He Who Must Never Be Written About if he can remember a time when the score was nil-all at half time. A minute later Queensland gets a penalty for no good reason and I am the recipient of a furious glare from my fitter half.

Look, it's not magical thinking, mate. I'm neither referee Ashley Klein nor the idiot who caused the penalty and, even, still, the score line is the tightest I can remember in all the time I've watched Origin.

And the blokes on the field are the tensest I've ever seen them. Even the non-Broncos looked like broncos, sniffling, stomping, desperate to unleash their powers.

So here we are half an hour in and it's on for young and old. Caden Helmers writes: "The NRL has handed out a record $26,100 in fines for the wild melee which spilled over the touchline and had everyone from players - whether they were in the game or not - tussling in a pack filled with photographers, officials and Johnathan Thurston in a headset."

Seven players were charged by the match review committee - and two blokes were hit hard because they decided to get involved even though they were off the field at the time. Haumole Olakau'atu wasn't even in footy gear but in fancy pants. And Cameron Murray ran metres and metres just so he could start pushing and shoving with the best of them.

Seriously fellas. I'm happy they were all fined but I doubt it will change the culture of a game which is built on tribalism. We love it for that reason. Women hate it for that reason. While I accept that Haumole Olakau'atu says he "was just helping a brother out", I'm not sure that's exactly how it worked out.

Glen Humphries practically laughs in my ear when I ask him if he has to rewrite his book, Biff: rugby league's infamous fights, published in 2022. Humphries, journalist and author, reminds me of the Battle of Brookvale, back in 2011, when two teams with a long running enmity started belting each other: Many Sea Eagles and Melbourne Storm.

As Cameron Smith, long time Melbourne captain, said a couple of years back: "What happened was that it started with Ryan Hinchcliffe and Darcy Lussick and I think there may have been a stray elbow which lead to a push and shove and a couple of little short punches.

Everyone came in and then Adam Blair and Glenn Stewart got put in the bin. As they were coming off ... it erupted, and the benches came onto the field, and everyone came running in."

Punches. So many punches. And blokes running in from the sideline which they have absolutely no reason to do. And that's the one which springs to Humphries' mind because I ask about idiots coming in from the sidelines.

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Then Humphries tells me about one incident I'd forgotten - way back in the rugby league time machine, when it was perfectly normal for players to belt the shit out of each other. It's 1982. Bob Cooper was involved in a "wild exchange". Three Illawarra Steelers players end up with various injuries; broken jaw, smashed nose and cheekbone, heavy concussion. Cooper is suspended for 15 months and his career is over.

Humphries doesn't miss the violence.

"I am happy the biff has gone. No one really needs the fights. No one misses it if it's not there."

This is more jersey-tugging and shoving, a vast improvement on what's happened in the past. In 2013, the NRL banned punches and so dragged the sport into the 21st century. Did we stop watching because of that lack of punching? No, we did not.

I love league. I love supporting my league tribe. I love the sheer sprinting athleticism. I don't love the biff, even if it's not as bad as it used to be.