Voice of Real Australia is a regular newsletter from the local news teams of the ACM network, which stretches into every state and territory. Today's is written by Southern Highland News senior journalist Sally Foy.
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A few weeks ago I interviewed a woman who I might describe as a victim of domestic violence. However, she doesn't describe herself that way.
She spoke with strength and courage, and in every way has earned the title of 'survivor'.
However, this story opened me up to a new way in which domestic abusers are able to fly under the radar.
I was told a harrowing tale of a relationship that lasted decades, and have been made privy to details that I'm not able to share with you.
This is despite the fact that the woman I spoke to wants her name to be published against her story: "It's my story, I should be allowed to tell it," she said to me.
I can't argue with her on that point. However, her safety could be put in jeopardy if we were to share her name with readers from one of the regional towns where I report.
Her children could be put at risk; and in this case the newspaper I work for could be sued for defamation if I was to name her, and by naming her expose her alleged abuser.
The journalist in me understands why these rules are in place. I understand defamation, and I would hate to put someone vulnerable in harm's way because of something that I had published.
But what happens when that victim/survivor wants to say her story out loud?
No charges have been laid in this case - and none will. It is a historical story of domestic abuse, and the judicial system is only just catching up.
However, when I told this woman we would not be able to publish her name for fears around her safety, the conversation was tense. And I can understand why.
For her, it took incredible courage to reach out to a journalist and open her wounds. She did it in the hope that her story would help others, only to be told that she would have to remain anonymous.
I think part of her will be forever afraid of her abuser, no matter how many years have passed. I believe that part of her took some comfort from the fact that as a newspaper, we were taking steps to keep her safe.
But the warrior in her didn't take it lightly: "But it's my story," she said.
In NSW laws about coercive control and domestic violence will change on July 1. Too late for this woman who will forever remain anonymous.
As the laws change however, so will media's ability to give a real voice to survivors like her.
As the men who choose to abuse women find themselves before the courts, media will be there to record your names. You will no longer be able to hide.
Watch this space.
Sally Foy
Regional reporter based in the Southern Highlands. I am also a mother and advocate for children with a disability and epilepsy.
Regional reporter based in the Southern Highlands. I am also a mother and advocate for children with a disability and epilepsy.
