Carer breaks Alaine's trust: family ripped apart by elder abuse

The chef, former academic and champion for the elderly witnessed a loved one be "coerced" and "manipulated" allegedly by a paid carer to hand over the management of his finances and affairs, yet stumbled on roadblock after roadblock trying to stop it.

Dr Chanter will advocate for elder abuse to be criminalised in Adelaide this July at the Australian Elder Abuse Conference, calling for agencies and individuals to be made accountable for their behaviour, to stop other families from enduring the hardships she had.

"We went through so many avenues to try and stop [the] behaviour initially, which involved all sorts of grooming, coercive control from what we could see," she told The Senior.

Dr Chanter and her sister discovered a paid carer was turning up to a frail, elderly family member's home after hours, posting pictures of "intimate dinners" together on Facebook, and making regular trips to the bank together.

"It was just totally inappropriate," she said. "And we started to make inquiries with the care agency about ... what their code of conduct was for carers. And the agency was very defensive in their responses to us and allowed the behaviour to continue despite urgent pleas from [us]."

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Eventually, the Victorian Civil and Administrative Tribunal found more than $50,000 was fleeced from the family member's accounts over "a couple of months", she said.

"[The family member] couldn't account for [any of it] when they were questioned about where this money had gone. So there was a sort of a vindication that ... the account was being plundered by this [person]."

Going to court ultimately put a strain on the relationship, and ultimately led to its breakdown. The family member became estranged, "cross we were butting into their affairs". Police were unable to help as elder abuse was technically not illegal.

"There were lots of roadblocks in our attempt to stop this inappropriate behaviour ... and ultimately, after [the carer] stopped working for the agency, they became more and more involved in [my family member's] life."

Dr Chanter contemplated suing the care agency, but her lawyer advised it would likely be unsuccessful, and the process had already been "emotionally difficult" thus far.

Her family member has now passed away, but she strongly believes they died "very frightened".

"One of the saddest aspects of it was that in the last three years of their life, basically, it destroyed our relationship," Dr Chanter said. "A lot of the way that I have coped ... has been to advocate for change. And I want to keep doing that because I don't want this to happen to any other family."

In an emergency call 000 or the National Elder Abuse Helpline 1800-353-374.

NSW: NSW Ageing and Disability Abuse Helpline on 1800-628-221 (Monday to Friday 9am to 4pm) for information, support or to make a report. You can also be anonymous; adc.nsw.gov.au.

Victoria: Seniors Rights Victoria 1300-368-821.

South Australia: 1800 372 310, Monday to Friday, 9am to 5pm for information, support or to make a report to the Adult Safeguarding Unit, or by emailing adultsafeguardingunit@sa.gov.au

Western Australia: Elder Abuse Helpline on 1300-724-679, Legal Aid WA Infoline on 1300-650-579.

Queensland: Queensland Elder Abuse Helpline 1300-651-192.

Tasmania: www.elderabuse.tas.gov.au, 1800-441-169.