A Goulburn woman who is part of a campaign to end coercive control has spoken about how she feared for her life during an abusive relationship that spanned more than a decade.
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"I tried multiple attempts to leave and it rendered me homeless, it rendered my children homeless and there were so many consequences for the coercive control that we were in," she said.
The woman, whose name had to be withheld to protect the privacy and safety of her family, shared her story to help the government better understand domestic violence.
Earlier this month the NSW Government launched an advertising campaign to raise public awareness and understanding of coercive control.
The campaign uses video, audio and strategic advertisements with the slogan: "It's not love, it's coercive control. Know the signs of abuse."
It shows coercive control as a pattern of abusive behaviour over time that is insidious and can manifest in many ways.
It is a pattern of behaviour which may include financial abuse, threats against pets or loved ones, tracking someone's movements, or isolating them from friends and family to control them.
"There are so many of us that stand together," the Goulburn woman said.
"It wasn't until I read about it that I realised what I was experiencing was abuse."
An advocate and educator on coercive control, she applied to be part of the NSW Government's process to advise on the campaign - a recommendation of the Joint Select Committee on Coercive Control, which highlighted the need to support community awareness of coercive control prior to the commencement of the Crimes Legislation Amendment (Coercive Control) Act 2022.
NSW is the first Australian jurisdiction to introduce a standalone dedicated offence of coercive control.
Speaking to The Goulburn Post the woman described herself as "on my knees" by the end of her relationship.
"You're broken by it," she said.
"What's actually got attention right now is the fact that people are dying. We've had a sharp increase in deaths and that's what's caught the attention of government."
She believes she's lucky to be alive.
"I remember lying on a bed and looking at a curtain and thinking, 'If I don't leave this place, I will be dead in six months'," she said.
"It may not have been at his hand; but it may have been my own."
The Crimes Legislation Amendment (Coercive Control) Act 2022 will criminalise coercive control in current or former intimate partner relationships in NSW from July 1.
If found guilty, perpetrators can face up to a maximum of seven years in prison.
The campaign was developed with over 70 stakeholders from the Coercive Control Implementation and Evaluation Taskforce and 10 associated reference groups. This included victim-survivors through the lived expertise reference group.
It follows the launch of a website in August 2023, designed to ensure the NSW public has access to credible information about coercive control.
NSW Police are also undergoing training about coercive control, to ensure they are prepared for the commencement of this reform.
"The thing I feel so passionate about at this time in history is that we are having these open conversations about what domestic violence actually looks like," the woman said.
"In July, men who display all of these behaviours can be put in prison for up to seven years."
She describes working with the politicians and the people in the domestic violence space in NSW on the campaign as "powerful".
"The thing that I respect about this is the fact that they were passionate about getting people with a lived experience involved in this advertising campaign from the get go," she said.
"I applaud that, and I respect that."
Coercive control has been strongly linked to intimate partner homicide, with the NSW Domestic Violence Death Review Team finding that 97 percent of intimate partner domestic violence homicides in NSW between 2000 and 2018 were preceded by the perpetrator using emotional and psychological abuse as a form of coercive control towards the victim.
Support is available for those who may be distressed. Phone Lifeline 13 11 14; Men's Referral Service 1300 776 491; Kids Helpline 1800 551 800; beyondblue 1300 224 636; 1800-RESPECT 1800 737 732; National Elder Abuse 1800 ELDERHelp (1800 353 374)
Sally Foy
Regional reporter based in the Southern Highlands. I am also a mother and advocate for children with a disability and epilepsy.
Regional reporter based in the Southern Highlands. I am also a mother and advocate for children with a disability and epilepsy.
