Bookham wants a wife from Wollongong and a guvvie job in the city

We must apologise for the lateness of this recap. We appreciate that hundreds of thousands have been champing at the bit to get some news about Wollongong's favourite 24-year-old blonde admin officer, Olivia, who's trying to win a farmer on a game show.

The good news is, we're previewing not just the final episode but also the entire lives together of the winners and their farmers - which **shock** may not be on a farm.

We're still reeling from the previous episode, where Olivia's target, "Farmer" Matt "from" Bookham, revealed he had taken a job as a public servant in Canberra.

Yep, Matt has given up the four-wheeler to drive a desk in the bush capital. He's traded riding the range for carpet strolling. Swapped checking fencelines for drafting lines for the minister.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

How could they? How could we have been deceived by Reality TV? How has Matt just shifted to a "new job" twelve-thirteenths of the way through a series where he's depicted as a farmer?

More recap: Farmer Wants a Wife: meet the gents

What would it mean for former Wollongong High School captain Olivia, who with the other contestants has been forced to demonstrate she's willing to commit to farm life? Would she have left Wollongong's beaches for a show called Suburban Mid-to-Low-Ranking Public Servant Wants a Wife?

"I could easily see a future with either two of them", Matt says, letting slip his true intentions.

"I do feel very strongly about both of you so I want to continue that going forward," he tells them. Hearts sink. He's already talking like someone from the seventh floor.

It's a "fallback", he says, which came about "recently". He doesn't say why anyone should choose him without the farm life.

Annabelle plays her wedge: She's happy to move to Canberra where she can work in hotels. Olivia goes silent and heads to the swing set she has had installed. It's where she does her best work. Can we take it?

"It wasn't exactly what I was expecting," she truths. "Coming here there was a bit of an idea in my head about what the future would kind of look like."

Perhaps because the show was called The Farmer Wants a Wife, poor dear. But she takes it as well as could be expected, and squeezes out a claim that he is in fact the main source of her "peace and happiness".

To cement the ruse, producers took the happy threesome into the big city - not Belconnen, or even Goulburn, but Sydney, to try and give the big smoke some appeal.

Related: Babies a 'natural progression' for loved-up Farmer Andrew and Claire after Farmer Wants a Wife walk-out

And sure Sydney can look nice enough through beer goggles, from the right angle, before you try and live there. At least spending all your time stuck in traffic is cheaper than affording a place to live.

Sam Armytage, who once again we haven't encountered other than by voice-over, claims she has invited them to Sydney. They drive south across the bridge which is strange given two of the farms are well south of Sydney. Or at least they try to, before finding out the hard way Sydney's icon needs an E-tag to cross it.

Look! Behold! It's Sam. Turns out the city was the place to be if you want to see her.

Darling Harbour offers much better backgrounds for storm-off and makeups than Matt's old bedroom. And what are they getting so upset about? Is it Matt's "new" "job" changing everything for the ladies?

Are they jack of the women being held to completely different standards as the blokes on this show?

Haha. No, just some jealousy about who gets more attention, after Olivia had to face an inquisition over the dinner table. The dramatic harpsichord music was part Psycho, part Dr Dre and she can't tell whether to laugh or cry.

She's accused of talking to Matt outside of game hours. Turns out they get up early and drink tea and chat late as well. The accusation of having "deeper chats" probably doesn't sound as cutting as it was intended.

Matt's listening skills are put to the test. His strategy of keeping both ladies equally unhappy until the end is succeeding brilliantly. Olivia's promoted "meltdown" is over soon enough with some teary talks down near the water. Annabelle's being a punish and the former farmer sees it. The Former makes his choice and goes to help the Girl from the Gong. Olivia's winning this one folks.

Former farmer is a bit clunky. Maybe we just call him the Former.

"I just hope that tonight didn't put a nail in the coffin of both relationships at the same time," the Former says, revealing his preference for vampires.

We don't know who wins this show but we only care about Olivia, who could become only the something somethingth person from the Illawarra to win a reality TV show of some variety.

Read also: Breanna reflects on her 'great experience' on Farmer Wants a Wife

Annabelle seems to make things easier by walking out and continuing to walk. She'll be better off in the big smoke anyway.

Anyway the Former's "new" "job" isn't the only bombshell dropped recently. Sophie told her beau Brenton she's not going to "sit around doing the same thing every day", which neatly describes farm life, except for the sitting bit.

And Brad took Clare to the hot tub with a view to let her tyres down - he wants to do long-distance for six months so see how it goes. All three storylines are in tatters. What's going to happen next week? Should Seven not have told us all farmers find love this season?

Whatever. It's Olivia's happily ever after that we're interested in here, and Matt and his family seem like thoroughly good people. We've set our sights on the reality we want, now it's time to vision it into existence as hard as we can.

Kinda like Shelby from the other farm nearby, who two episodes ago decided she liked the look of life at Brad's place at Cootamundra and told the camera she was going to do whatever it took to make that life her own. Whether Brad was into it or not, well, he could choose to either give her what she wanted or face a fight to the death every day forever.

Brad chose life. Shelby was last spotted on Jugiong Rd trying to hitch a ride east and wouldn't you know it's only 60km along that road to Bookham.

Bookham is the country hamlet "farmer" Matt left to pursue his studies, joining a long running agricultural research project related to the sowing of wild oats.

But wait ... Shelby was last spotted just 60 clicks from Bookham. Has Seven signed her up for another intervention? Look out Andrew and Claire, Narromine's not that far away - and it's on the way to Pozieres where farmer David is said to have shacked up with @#&%$ who has been spotted working at a local %&$&# #%&$. There's another farmer too but he's boring and Victorian.

Hark! Anyone on the way north, Shelby's coming round the mountain. She's experienced a taste of farm life and unlike Matt she likes it. Prepare yourselves, people of Terramungamine, Gilgandra, Coona and Croppa Creek, across the border to Texas, Silver Spur, Amiens and Passchendaele (come on Queensland, are we in the US or the Western Front?). This series is about to be turned on its head.

Get ready, we're about to start filming the first season of Wife Wants a Farmer.

The Farmer Wants a Wife screens at 7pm on Sunday on Channel 7, and streams on 7Plus.

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