Support from allies helps LBGTQIA+ youth to thrive

A fierce supporter of the LGBTQIA+ (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, intersex, questioning, asexual and gender diverse) community, Sharyn Faulkner understands what it takes to be an ally living regionally.

Sharyn said she was called to action in 2014 after seeing one of her sons get married and realising her other son, who is gay, would never have that opportunity.

"I got very angry at the injustice and the inequality, and so I got in touch with the Marriage Equality campaigners to see what I could do," Sharyn said.

That first phone call led Sharyn to become involved in larger community events, including marching, public speaking and lobbying politicians in Canberra.

"I set about thinking, 'how can I change people's minds?'," Sharyn said, adding even today, she maintains several Facebook pages and works as an adviser with the national lobby and advocacy group Just.Equal.

Sharyn said being an ally was as easy as "putting yourself in the LBGTQIA+ community's shoes".

"So many of us, if we think about it, know someone who is in the LGBTQIA+ community or they are in our families and, even if we don't, our friends do," she said.

"And we're humans - we're supposed to love one another and support each other, and LGBTQIA+ people aren't any different to anyone else; they're all our families, they're all our sons, our daughters, our cousins, our uncles, our aunts and I just hate discrimination."

According to a 2021 La Trobe University study, 81 per cent of LGBTQIA+ people aged between 14 and 21 reported 'high' or 'very high' levels of psychological distress, with rural youth experiencing more harassment or assault than those living in cities.

Sharyn said young people still hold a "very real fear" in rural and regional Australia about coming out to friends and family, adding it's important for schools to include LGBTQIA+ information in the curriculum.

"It's not brainwashing kids to be gay; it's just making people aware that there are people who aren't being allowed to be who they are because of unknown factors and misinformation," she said.

"A lot of rural places are still fairly homophobic, but I think that's changing because the more people that are coming out, and the more visibility there is, the more people are realising they're no different to anybody else, and it will hopefully make it easier in the long run."

Sharyn is hoping rural and regional communities will take the opportunity to host events during WorldPride and throughout the year for LGBTQIA+ people of every age.

"If organisations like councils, schools and community groups can be accepting and celebrate WorldPride or put on functions or an event of some kind - I think that would be fabulous," she said.

"And if people in regional Australia can provide access to safe places for our younger people to go to that are close to home, that's also important. It's really up to the people in their towns to make these kids feel safe."

Sharyn said it was also important for friends and family of LGBTQIA+ people to feel welcome at Pride events and encouraged anyone who may feel nervous to seek out information online or reach out to their local PFLAG group (a parents and friends support group).

"I can relate to this really well because, when my son came out to me, I thought, 'well, I don't really understand it'," Sharyn said. "Talking to other parents, listening to stories of other LGBTQIA+ people, and learning are the main things ... and just try to keep an open mind.

"Just realise that, as a parent, there's nothing that you've done that has made your child this way - it's what they're born as.

"I think there's sort of a grieving process that all parents go through - a child is born and they'll go to school and get a job, they'll get married, I'll have grandchildren ...blah, blah, blah... and, quite often, it's a different path they'll take.

"It's their life; it's who they are; they are still your child. You still love them, so just go with the flow and go with them."