Our lost youth: Orange mum Jase Passer fighting for change after son's suicide

The NSW Central West woman's son William Passer died by suicide on September 19, 2018. Since then, she has been involved with Orange Regional Suicide Prevention Network as a way of "giving back."

While she has had the opportunity to try and help people deal with grief, it is a particular phrase that she believes shows how far society still has to come when tackling the issue of mental health.

"Please, don't say the word commit'," Ms Passer said in reference to the phrase "committed suicide" when referencing someone's death.

"Committing means crime. Taking your own life is not a crime and has not been a crime since the 1980s. It really misaligns what the person has done, what the person is going through and what the people left behind are going through.

"You're not being rude (by correcting someone), because people do perceive you as being rude when you get up and say 'please don't say commit', but it's not being rude, it's trying to make people aware."

Some organisations, such as Australian Community Media, publisher of this website, have taken it upon themselves to change the way suicide is referenced, so to say "died by suicide." This is also the term that organisations such as Lifeline urge people to use.

Asked why she believes the phrase remains commonplace for many, she noted the stigma behind suicide.

"People still don't want to talk about suicide," she said.

"Back in the 1960s, '70s and '80s it was such a taboo subject. If you spoke about it, you were shunned, so a lot of people didn't speak about their children passing from suicide.

"We're trying to change that perception because it is not illegal and and it's about breaking down that derogatory stigma."

But the battle for a grieving parent goes well beyond the phrases used to describe someone's death. It has a lot to do with communication, or lack thereof.

"Quite early on in my grieving, I forgave William, which doesn't happen in a lot of cases," she said.

"A lot of people get very angry. They get very angry at themselves, at other family members and even get angry at the person who has passed.

"Whoever takes their own life from suicide has got severe mental health issues. They're not in their right frame of mind, they're not thinking clearly and they're not thinking about you or me or their family. They are simply so entrenched in their own disappointments and their own lack of self worth that they can't see beyond that."

A call to reduce the number of young lives being lost to suicide across the western region, with one life being too many, is being lead by Australian Community Media.

Through her work with the Orange Suicide Prevention Network, Ms Passer has had countless chats with all kinds of people, be those the ones going through a mental health crisis, or a family member struggling for answers.

IN OTHER NEWS:

One thing she has learned is there is never just a single cause.

"When they look at social media, they're only getting half the story. They look on social media and see that Joe has a brand new Ute and think 'what have I got'. But it's all encompassing. It's not one thing or another, it's everything," she added.

As for what advice she would give to someone struggling with their mental health, she had one clear message.

"Get in touch with somebody, anybody. Talk to somebody. If you have nobody, get on any of the helplines. Get the help," she said.

"It's once again trying to break down that stigma. Having a mental health issue is no worse than having a cold. You go to the doctor for your cold, go to the doctor when you're feeling down and depressed and you can't cope."