After 45 years as a GP, Dr Robert Favaloro ponders on what it takes to build a wonderful life. How happiness can be grown and tended like a good crop. It's all about following The Rules of Life.
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I was brought up with my grandfather's favourite rule: 'Early to bed, early to rise, makes you healthy, wealthy and wise'. No 'maybe' anywhere in his rule.
Our Rules of Life aren't suggestions - no compromise here also.
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I remember when one of my patients presented with an STI. Her only partner was her husband and she was devastated when she comprehended the diagnosis. I spoke with him and he admitted to having another partner. He smiled as he described the thrill he experienced in keeping this affair from his wife. His belief was that one woman wasn't enough to satisfy his urges.
When his wife told him that she had had enough and wanted to separate, he was devastated. He rated his wife as his best friend and he cried as he described his feeling of loss. She, however, described a relief at not compromising her own standards any longer. She seemed to gain power in this commitment to her values.
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It has been said - 'If you constantly compromise things in your own life how will you ever realise your full potential?' - Anon.
As people who want a real purpose in life Margaret Thatcher put it well. "If you just set out to be liked, you would be prepared to compromise on anything at any time, and you would achieve nothing."
The power the patient gained by boldly standing by her values reminded me of the immense power we each have.
Gandhi put it well - 'All compromise is based on give and take, but there can be no give and take on fundamentals. Any compromise on mere fundamentals is a surrender. It is give and no take.'
Let's feel the power of adhering to our values 100 per cent of the time.
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