Sharing is not caring when it comes to childhood ailments

This reader was especially concerned about the fact that many parents continued to send their children to school or pre-school when they were unwell. Her greatest frustration was that by doing this parents were contributing to the continued spread of contagious illnesses.

I confess, I was equally frustrated by this circumstance when my children were young.

There is little doubt that children in any social environment - regardless of whether that is childcare, school, a birthday party or playgroup - are more susceptible to picking up a bug of some kind. But who wants to opt for the alternative of no social interaction? That is no good for the development of the child or the parent.

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It didn't take too long, into my early parenting days, to realise that regular childhood ailments - earaches, colds, stomach bugs and the like - were one of the challenges of being a parent. Over time I also realised that such bugs were most prevalent during the younger years of a child.

The contagions continue to be shared throughout primary and high school children generally. However, by that time they have developed some immunity, better communication so that it is easier to diagnose the illness and administer treatment, and better coping skills when they are sick.

If you are fortunate your child will encounter the commonplace ailments, but nothing more serious. My heart goes out to any parent who has had a child battling a more debilitating or life-threatening illness.

However, even these more mainstream ailments can have parents struggling with the situation and how to manage it.

I had a handy collection of natural options in the hope of keeping them healthy and hopefully able to stave off illness. This included plenty of fruit and vegetables.

But I'm convinced that the sharing lesson we so eagerly strive to teach our children is most embraced when it comes to sharing childhood ailments. Even worse is that when one child in a household comes home with an illness the others also seem destined to be struck down with the same bug. The same can also apply to the parents of those sick children.

One of my priorities was to make sure that my children did not go to school or childcare when they were sick. That was an easier option for me than it may be for some parents, because I was able to work from home if necessary.

Parents, more often than not, rely on childcare such as preschools and later schools and after school services to care for their children while they are at work. Regardless, these facilities request that children do not attend while they are unwell.

This makes perfect sense. One sick child can spread their germs like wildfire. While it no doubt helps to boost resilience in the long term, it becomes a problem for all who are linked to the facility. Quite simply, keeping children at home when they are sick is important for all concerned.

While I understand this may be a greater challenge for some parents, it is an important rule to follow. If every parent did this the spread of bugs could be reduced and in turn all children - and their parents - would benefit as children would hopefully be sick less often.

This is a requirement that has never been more important than since the start of the global COVID-19 pandemic. The good news in these situations is that the concept of working from home is now far more possible and acceptable.

No doubt to send or not to send to school can be a very tricky situation to navigate at times. Sometimes children may not display symptoms until later in a day and sometimes parents can be stuck determining whether a child is really unwell or simply angling for a day off school. This is a problem that tends to raise its cunning head as children get a little older and wiser about the likelihood of getting a day off school if they claim to feel unwell.

I have experienced the latter with each of my three children. I found that going with the claim of feeling unwell was the best approach - just in case.

But the trick to stopping them from calling 'wolf' again was to set some strict rules for a sick day. These included no television, no playing with toys or electronic games and a very bland diet - so as not to feed a bug. These rules along with the directive for complete rest usually filtered out a child playing 'sick possum' from the genuinely unwell. Quite clearly boredom is a great remedy for a fake illness.

Of course these treatments are equally beneficial for a child who is legitimately unwell.

While worrying about the wellbeing of our children is an ongoing struggle - even when they are adults - the good news is that you will gain confidence in your management skills.

This is clearly a good thing because despite the best management there is a fair chance that once a child begins childcare, and then school, they will become a magnet for just about any ailment that is circulating.

There will still be times when panic kicks in and you may fear the worst, but it is strangely comforting to note that other children are sick with the same symptoms. Not because you don't care about the wellbeing of other children, but because you realise it is most likely just a passing bug and not some terrible life-threatening disease.

Of course I never dismissed the idea of seeking medical advice in the case of an illness that lingered for too long, if there were more unusual symptoms or if my child was in danger of dehydration.

While the love and care of a parent can be a great comfort there are times when treatment from a medical expert is necessary.

Mumma Jak has three children and is familiar with the challenges of parenthood. She is well aware that every child is different, every day can be different and a parent's approach needs to be different according to the situation at hand. She is happy to say she fumbled through, motivated from the perfect starting point - unconditional love. The good news is that all three of her children have become normal functioning adults.

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