Time to add tongue scraper to your oral routine

Yes. How's it looking?

Rude. Unless this is some legit cultural greeting from an ancestry I never knew you had.

I just wanted to show you the spectacular condition of my mouth microbiome.

I think you should put your tongue away - mainly because I can't understand a word you're saying.

You might as well be speaking in tongues.

More from Amy Cooper:

I'll take that as a tongue-in-cheek comment.

Anyway, I've recently discovered the benefits of tongue scraping. I have my own little cleaning tool and I use it twice a day.

Suddenly I'm back in 2003, watching that Toohey's Extra Dry Commercial in which a bloke's tongue slips out of his mouth while he sleeps, then crosses the road, gatecrashes a party and steals a beer.

Is this why your tongue needs grooming? Does it have a secret life of its own?

No. But if it did attend a party, it would be the best turned out tongue in the room: pink, moist and free from any unsightly coating.

It would eclipse the celebrity of Miley Cyrus' tongue.

It would send Gene Simmons' tongue crawling back into its cavity in shame.

So this scraping, is it purely a cosmetic thing? A tongue-icure, if you like?

Not at all. It's a smart health habit that dentists recommend.

Your tongue is like a carpet, collecting all kinds of debris excreted by the bacteria that naturally inhabit your mouth.

When the debris builds up, it can have a negative impact on your overall oral health and cause bad breath.

Studies have also shown that using a tongue scraper twice daily can improve your sense of taste.

Fragrant breath and a better palate. I might be sold on scraping.

It's easy, too.

First, buy a dedicated tongue scraper, because it's better than your toothbrush for the job.

They cost as little as $7, and most are u-shaped and made of stainless steel with handles for grip.

Simply draw the scraper gently across the top of your tongue from back to front, rinse the scraper and repeat until your tongue looks and feels super-clean.

I'm in. Very soon, my tongue will be ready for its close-up.

Here's licking at you, kid.